hello lj.
hello foolscappaper.
my last entry was 88 weeks ago.
i think forgot how to blog.

i'm in my differential equations class right now. i'm listening, but nothing's making sense.
"how's life?" you'd ask. and i'll probably reply with a "life's okay. i'm busy with school.". that's kinda sad, isn't it? i'm 21. all sorts of responsibilities are being thrown at me. i need to do well in school, i need to plan my modules so i may graduate in time, i need to find an internship with a company that has a good reputation. going on exchange will probably make my resume look good. two internships will be impressive. an impressive resume will land me a well-paying job.

i can't believe life is reduced to this. i'm not depressed. i just believe there's more to life. lately, i'm finding less reasons to smile. the things that make me happy remain consistent though. pten makes me happy, guniang club makes me happy, food makes me happy, floorball and floorballers make me happy (thank goodness i did not join a cca just to fill up my resume), postcards make me happy. i look forward to little things like eating swedish meatballs with shaun tomorrow, movie with the floorballers tonight, a nice hug from van when i bump into her in school and getting excited about exchange in europe next semester with ben. sometimes, i wish life could be like a movie we watch on our windows media player, so i can fast forward to the exciting parts. and no, i wouldn't skip the sad parts cause everyone needs to go through that. haha i know it sounds really silly.

for those who are interested to know, i'll be heading to the netherlands next semester. i will probably be leaving at the end of this year. YES, I AM EXCITED! it already gives me butterflies. i'm glad i applied for the same school as xunny. minshan (hello if you're reading this, stalker) says it's not so much of the place, but the company. i'm really lucky then. i've always wanted to experience campus life, having house/room mates. i told everyone i'd spoil my roomate. at the same time, i'm really apprehensive about living with strangers. it doesn't help that i hate making new friends. "i think i can live the rest of my life with the current friends i have. i don't need new friends." i'm sure many have heard me saying that last sentence. i don't think i have problem making new friends, i just don't see the need to.

a couple of days ago, christablel and i were talking about how hard it is to make friends in uni.
rule #1: project group mates are not friends
rule #2: grouping with friends for project will spoil friendship
rule #3: we're not friends if we don't hang out outside school
it's pretty funny how we have all these imaginary rules for friendship.

on a happier note, 3 of my closest friends in the world are turning 21!
20th october: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BELLE
21st october: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JEMA
22nd october: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, XUNNY
9 years of friendship (+2yrs for belle) and going strong (:

I thought I hated project work because I was afraid of people who do not contribute. But I was wrong. My hate for project work has just increased by one level. I can’t stand people (or rather, person) who flunk their exams, and then vent their frustration on innocent group mates. Oh, so it’s my fault you did not study for your mid-terms huh? Asshole. I knew he was just waiting for someone to make a mistake and he could have the chance to blame that person. That person happened to be me. Rah. In Jema’s words, “SARKS”. I’d prefer dealing with PMS-y girls and lazy bums anytime.

Ok I shall stop being such an angsty teenager(I shall use this word as much as possible, while I can). HAPPY 19^TH BIRTHDAY to BELLE, JEMA & XUNNY! In chronological order! I love love love (one each) belle, xunny and jema! I cannot imagine my life without these people. I think P10 keeps me sane. Actually these people keep me insane. But insanity is sanity to me. And I don’t care if you think I wasn’t making sense in the last sentence. HAHA.

SCHOOL SARKS LA.

 (edit: i have changed the settings. you can now leave anonymous comments!)

hello hello.
test test.
ok this sucks.
i don't know how to use livejournal.